OK, we went through all of the old mail and deleted it. We posted everything that looked like it hadn't been posted. If you wrote something that you really wanted on the blog, please send it to us again. We will be glad to post it. If you have been in touch with other people who may have stopped visiting the blog, let them know that it is active again.
Thanks and blessings! DPR! (arrgh!)
Misc. Musings -
As the Administrator points out - the previous and current leadership are following the same suit - no change, no responsibility. My theory on the whole thing is that they CAN'T change. What I mean is that to admit their fault or responsibility in any of these tragic stories, will mean that they are indeed guilty and their pride just could not handle the possibility they are guilty in all or even one.
No, what they would do is review every case, research it, find the details, investigate, interview, interpret and then look into the past of the "complainer" and find it was all a result of all of us "not taking responsibility for our own choices" or the "struggles we were having with sin" or "we were volitional" thus their responsibility is absolved...or another out is just shift the blame - it was their parent's fault, the sister's fault, etc. Therefore, no need to take responsibility - it wasn't their fault and even if they did do something that hurt someone - it was because we interpreted it wrongly, therefore absolving their guilt once again - it was us. They absolutely believe that system to the core and that's why they are clinging to it desperately. I don't ever expect a change, sadly.
In order to continue on, they simply can not face the reality or it would destroy the whole premise on which their fragile world is built. It's the age-old LFF cycle - any questions, any pain, any hurt means that there is something wrong with all of us and we should repent for feeling those things and then take responsibility that we chose to stay and be wounded.
It's a whole veil of deception that I believe they must continue to cling to in order to feel confident in what they are continuing to do. In fact, I would venture to guess that because of the length and strength of this belief on their part, that they don't really know what reality is anymore. What they believe to be true is the only reality they know. Therefore, our healing can not depend on their response, change, compassion, etc. We have to find it outside of that structure entirely - in God, in the Word and in each other.
So, in moving forward, I read a research report this week about how writing about traumatic situations and events helps the person move on and is being used by many doctors to help people heal from events ranging from war to abuse to events like we have gone through. In fact there is a summary of that topic in Jan 2006 Better Homes Magazine too. In the book, Purpose Driven Life, Rick Warren suggests that you write a letter you will never send. Spell out all the details, all the names, the pain, the feelings, etc. and then destroy it. That helped me tremendously - even if my thoughts or feelings didn't seem rational, I put them down and listed specifics - mind you it was a very long letter, but it was good for me! This blog site is a therapeutic tool for many. As you begin to formulate your thoughts and experiences in words, it helps you sort them out and move on from them. It takes part of the power of those memories away in a sense. It doesn't erase the things that happen or the emotions tied to those events, but it will help you begin to make sense of what you've been through and help you to put them to rest.
Thank you for your help and for the blogspot. May we all find the healing we're looking for. Bless you!
TO THE LEADERSHIP OF LFF - MOVE ON ALREADY!!
I was just enjoying the fact that we did exactly what we wanted on New Year's Eve and New Year's Day and didn't have to spend the whole night listening to people who love to hear themselves talk! Assuming they have the corner on "God's vision" for the year. No, we simply enjoyed our friends and our family and then went to bed!
We just returned from a trip to visit our families, including a stop in Pullman. It was amazing to me the calls you get - the "we really would like to see you and talk to you". WHY? Wasn't 15-20 years of you talking enough? What more could you say? There is nothing else I would like to hear from any of you other than, "please forgive me". But I do not hold my breath on that one. Not a single one of them tried to contact us in the last 4-5 years, why the urgency to interrupt our family time once again for you? I don't think so!
It amazes me at how (pardon if this is offensive) retarded socially those who have been at LFF are...me included, but time is helping that area! In normal life, guess what, people move on. Friends, neighbors, etc. come and go - they make new friends, they get a life. Why do they feel the need to continue to try to "talk to us" after over years and years? I moved many times as a kid. There are some close friends, but I didn't try to hunt down the kid who I had trouble with in 2nd grade to "talk". Bottom line - to those of you from LFF who read this site (Kari included - we know you're there!) - GET A LIFE!!
Can you move on already? There is not one additional word I would like to hear from any of the leadership - current or past. NOT ONE! I am not interested in your "yada, yada" on how much better everything is or your list of improvements, accomplishments or prayer requests. I'm sure there is some current HCL or JCD you can lean on for support - this shoulder and heart are not available to you!
And to the good hearted people we saw that mean well - bless you! Your down to earth, accepting ways are what a real Christian looks like. YOU should be the pastors! To the rest of you - oops - so sorry we didn't return your calls! Have a nice life!
I have just found a book that made me laugh so hard! It is called A FieldGuide to Evangelicals & Their Habitat by Joel Kilpatrick. You can learnwhat Evangalicals believe, how to identify one in the field, How to see themin their natural habitat, how to decorate like an evangelical....The funnything is that you could change the word "Evangelical" and put in "LFFer" andit wouldn't be too far off.Isn't that funny? I remember how we used to feel about those"Evangelicals"! We were so much better than them. We were the ones on firefor God. But if you look at this book, you will see that, sadly, weweren't too much different from them at all. I highly suggest you read thisbook for a good laugh. I can't put it down. They also have a great website www.larknews.comEnjoy, John Brower
I am from Pennsylvania and never attended this church that you speak of. I was trying to get the lyrics ,music, and history behind the song and pulled up this website. How sad. My Dad is a pastor and I grew up as a PK. Instead of constantly bashing the family, why not pray for them? Bring your prayers and concerns to Jesus. He understands and will listen. Also, the enemy works strong in a pastor's family, because he doesn't want God's message to get out. Pray for everyone involved in ministry! Pray that they will be able to stand against the enemy. We are in a spiritual battle and we need to come together in prayer!Lititz, PA
Thank God for what you are doing. I have several relatives who have been involved with Living Faith Fellowship for decades. Their lives have been twisted, their hearts broken and – worse yet – they have learned how to use deceptive, manipulative techniques to influence those around them for their own gain. Instead of following the way of the Jesus of the Gospels, these relatives have been taught to follow the Bardens. Even those among them who have broken away find themselves emotionally damaged and deeply confused.
Many of my relatives still cling to the desire to please the LFF hierarchy, in spite of all that I (and other caring relatives) have done to persuade these dear family members of the lack of biblical grounding for Karl and Sherri’s “teachings”, the lack of credible academic credentials of the pastoral leadership, the clear violation of psychological boundaries and many other abuses of their “leadership” positions. I have learned a great deal about this cult-like church from former members, and although the common “word on the street” is that things are better under the leadership of Karl and Sherri’s daughter & son-in-law, I cannot see it. The current “pastors” have no more training, expertise, biblical grounding or credibility than the “founding pastors”. Phil and Kari are enmeshed with Karl and Sherri. As far as I can tell, the sick, disgusting and abusive practices begun by the founders have been institutionalized throughout LFF’s “ministries” over time. It is a system and Phil and Kari are deeply entangled within it. The entire enterprise needs to be exposed to the Light.
It is commonly known that before persons who have suffered physical, psychological and/or sexual at the hands of family members can find healing, they first must be willing to tell the “family secret”. That is what you are doing by creating and maintaining this blog. You are allowing the victims of abuse to “tell” the “family secrets”. Please do not shy away from the task until all is exposed. There is much that needs to be discussed about several of the most disturbing aspects of LFF’s history and practice.
If I may – I would like to suggest a few additional topics which may have not been fully explored -- as yet -- on your site. Among the issues that might be beneficial to discuss, I would name: the annual lavishing of gifts upon the Bardens by the various “home groups”; the lack of accountability structures by which members could have/can exercise checks and balances upon the LFF leadership; the destination of the millions of dollars that has flowed through LFF (I’ve seen discussions of the excessive “tithing” required, but not enough about where all the money went – I have heard that the Bardens and their associates have invested a lot of it in real estate); and the exaltation of Sherri as “God’s Woman”.
I applaud your courage. What you are doing is a service to Christ and his Church.
God Bless You for Your Efforts!
An Anonymous Observer
I am the Dread Pirate Roberts (for you Princess Bride fans!). The healing that this blog is bringing to all of us is too important to stop, so the posts will continue. You will see some posts that are dated a while ago, just so we can make it through the backlog. Keep reading and commenting. The truth is a good thing, and it is setting us free.
Sincerely,
DPR! (aka, your editors)
Concerned bloggers have inquired asking why emails have not been posted to the site recently. And some have speculated that the blog had been "shut down" somehow. However the real reason has to do with the fact that the administrator found the process just too painful to continue and has made the following statement:
"Thank you for your concern. As we went on publishing this blog, re-living these memories became often too painful..."
Ultimately, all of us must let go our grip of the past (whether painful, pleasant, or both) in order to embrace what God is doing presently and to embrace what He intends to do in our lives next. (And yes, sometimes we need to vent our pain and anger before moving onward. And to that end much said on this site has been therapeutic.)
And beyond the expression of pain many have felt the need to see the Truth expose untruths. We just cannot be a part of those who continue to compliment the "emperor" on his "new clothes". We ask, "Hey, am I the only one who sees that he doesn't have any clothes on???" The answer is, "No brother and sister, there are many who see the same thing."
Until we meet again bloggers let's remember that the Truth is a Person and not a thing and that He is not negotiable. "He is the same yesterday, today and forever."
"So Jesus was saying to those Jews who had believed Him, "If you continue in My word, then you are truly disciples of Mine; and you will know the Truth and the Truth will make you free."
Blessings upon all as you travel the freedom road of Jesus Christ.
