Let it go
DPR,I got this by way of e-mail today and it is exactly what I needed to hear - probably on a daily basis. I am constantly haunted by things LFF leadership said or did to me and though I feel I have moved on and forgiven as best I can I am aware daily of the impact their words and deeds continue to have on me. I read the blog from time to time and see so many other ex-LFFers still in so much pain. I've continued to hold on to dead friendships from that place, wrong images and deep hurts. This message by T.D. Jakes is very releasing to me and I hope it can help others too.
**By Bishop T. D. Jakes, Dallas, Texas
There are people who can walk away from you.
And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you, let them walk. I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone.
When people can walk away from you, let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.
The Bible said that, "They came out from us that it might be made manifest that they were not for us. For had they been of us, no doubt they would have continued with us." [1 John 2:19]
People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay.
Let them go.
And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person. It just means that their part in the story is over. And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead. You've got to know when it's dead.
You've got to know when it's over. Let me tell you something. I've got the gift of good-bye. It's the tenth spiritual gift. I believe in good-bye. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have, He'll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat, I don't need it. Stop begging people to stay.
Let them go!!
If you are holding onto something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to......
LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to past hurts and pains......
LET IT GO!!!
If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth......
LET IT GO!!!
If someone has angered you......
LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge......
LET IT GO!!!
If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction......
LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents......
LET IT GO!!!
If you have a bad attitude......
LET IT GO!!!
If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better......
LET IT GO!!!
If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new level in Him......
LET IT GO!!!
If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship......
LET IT GO!!!
If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help themselves......
LET IT GO!!!
If you're feeling depressed and stressed......
LET IT GO!!!
If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself and God is saying "take your hands off of it," then you need to......
LET IT GO!!!
Let the past be the past. Forget the former things. GOD is doing a new thing for 2007!!!
LET IT GO!!!
Get right or get left... Think about it, and then...
LET IT GO!!!
"The Battle is the Lord's!
13 comments:
you're right. Speaking for myself I know I have to let things go. I find myself going to the CCF website from time to time. I really don't know why. There's a few people there that I'm curious as to how they are doing. But to be quite honest maybe that's because when I was at LFF there was such a popularity contest with all of us JCD's. A quest to be most spiritual. Maybe because they were the popular kids, I'm still drawn to them and desire to be in their presence.
But when I think rationally maybe I'm jealous. I do miss having SO many friends. Though I don't miss the fakeness of those relationships.
As our relationships with people in our current church grow stronger and stronger I feel myself longing for the past less and less.
So yes I do need to let it go, but I think I'll be able to fully let it go when God thinks I'm ready to.
I think you will too, that's how it's happening for me, gradually.
this kind of refers also to a previous post quite a while ago as well...but i thought some of this writing was applicable to current readers as well...it kind of goes on a tangent but is somewhat a response to this as well...i have actually not read this blog in quite a while but just was catching up yesterday...to a few people that i have seen post....eric!! i miss seeing you and sarah...loved having you date her and seeing you two together...i got to watch a lot of it since she was my neighbor...i was just a kid then but i still think of you two and wonder how everything has been...i dont really wish to say who i am and i know that my email would give me away...haha...but it would be nice to catch up sometime...lol i made it to being an adult!!...if you wish to contact me...i guess the administrator can help figure that out...Stacey Hawley...i miss you as well...such a genuine fun person...im glad that you have found joy!!...Kristin...i used to know Andrew extremely well...you know me too...i hope that everything in life will eventually be figured out...and i hope someday that this will not be but just a dot on the radar of your life...i hope you both find peace in believing that God is bigger than all of this!!...and im excited that you two are finally having a baby!!...yay....to the person who stated that jay becker is married to a barden...i am personally offended by that...i grew up in the church as a kid and i personally would like to say that the one person that i knew the most was tami becker...she was one of the nicest people to me...to the kids really...everyone loved her...she didnt judge us or anything...so to say that he was married to her...well dont fucking group her into the family...everyone is their own self and that doesnt mean that she did the same as others...to me she will always be a good memory and i wish her well and wish that i still got to see her more often then not...and i am still good friends with their daughter who was in my class....dont judge one just because they are part of a family....or you would hate me because technically i am the "black sheep" of my family...yet i still receive all the love from my parents because they didnt just follow everything that was "taught"...they raised us how they believed God told them...i feel that amidst all the stuff that happened and the bad memories that i am still loved by God...that is the reason i still love him...Christianity is not about what we can do for others or God ...its what God has done for us...no works, no paperwork, no chains of command....i believe accountability is important, but if you dont "confess" something to someone it will not be the end of everything...yes i was hurt by leadership, yes i saw wayyyyy to many of my friends crumble under much worse than i feel and actually that is my biggest hurt, but i also see the good from being raised in a good family...yes not all of the kids have totally abandoned God either...i know quite a few that have just figured it out in their own way...our parents did the best from what they know...if they realize more now...more power to them and i hope the kids dont hate the parents, which i dont believe they do...i hope people take the good from what they know...and heal the way they know for as long as they need...grieving is part of the process of death...but there is still joy to be found even in the hard times....one still has good memories of a passed loved one even in the most excruciating pain that they feel with a loss...we are human and that is meant to happen...everything that one feels should not be discredited by others for it is real...those who still attend should not be judged, thinking that they dont "see the light"...my parents still go there and i know their hearts are pure in there actions and involvement...i know they are making what they do a better place...and no they are not in leadership nor have ever desired to be, they are not there 24/7...but i believe what they do has had an impact...especially on the kids that are there now...please dont judge them for staying...please dont judge me for leaving....its a part of life...live and let go...
haha that is all
Yes, TD Jakes has it right. Let it go. But as others have alluded, the key is "displacement." Find the new, great, and real thing that God is doing in your life and get into it. Let the new thing displace the old and dead thing. You can't displace the old thing in a vacuum. You must move forward to find the good and the true. God is waiting at the end of an exciting new road. Go find out what lies ahead and keep living for all you're worth!
-A Voice in the Wilderness who is find the Way.
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Let it go. How about letting go of the hurts of LFF? Obviously, this blog is not intended for "healing purposes" as you all say. Rather, you keep digging up old hurts from years ago instead of forgiving and moving on. Yes, they hurt you and that's not ok. It's also not ok for you to hold a grudge and talk bad about so many people. Let it go.
"The Voice" post has it right. When you grasp onto the new, better thing that God has for you now, you can't help but let go of what you had hold of before. (You can't hold onto two things at once!) I can tell you from my own life that this works.
And to anonymous previous poster of 2:20pm:
You also are agreeing with "The Voice" in letter but your wording is mean-spirited. Compassion would make your advice sound a lot more credible.
To the 2:20 poster. Did you NOT get the point of this post at all? I don't think you GET it at all. You think people are simply holding onto specific incidents where they were hurt by someone when in reality what we are all dealing with are issues where myriads of "instances" shaped how we see ourselves, and what we've become. We can't just erase that time in our life and we can't just forget about it. How shallow you must think we are that we could simply move on from such deep spiritual impact. Perhaps it is just YOU that is shallow. I'm sorry for you that you are still a "Lifer" and have to live with the fact that the church you so dearly love has negatively affected so many people. Your attitude reflects the exact spirit that still exists at LFF - non-repentant self righteousness. If the Vances and current leadership were truly compassionate, it would show in your comment because YOU would be compassionate. The new LFF motto is "LFF is so different now". If it was truly different, you wouldn't all have to run around like robots repeating that to everyone that has left. Get a new motto, try REAL compassion on for size and if you don't like what is written here, then get off our BLOG, it clearly wasn't meant for you!
I think people who are still at LFF don't get it or don't want to get how hurt we all are. If they really faced what has happened to them it would be to painful. it is very painful when you realize the truth of what LFF really is. It was very painful for me. Still is. It is hard to face that I let myself put up with so many things for so long. So maybe it easier just to say we are wrong so they don't have to face their pain. Putting us down instead of being compassionate would be easier. We need to be compassionate towrds them. They are still deceived.
I think one of the purposes of the blog is to be a voice in the wilderness crying out "Prepare ye the way!" The people from LFF who are still reading it have to be wondering why there are so many people writing about the pain that they felt from the Church. If it was one or two "troublemakers" writing here, then they could dismiss it. (Of course they dismiss it anyway.) But there are too many people who post here for this to be an imagined hurt. Not only are we lowly congregants, but there is past-leadership who have posted here. My prayer for the people at LFF is that they would take our words to heart.
I called to open a dialog with P. Phil, so that we could start the healing process. I never heard anything from him. Phil, if you're reading this, we invite you to tell us how things have changed. Maybe you personally weren't the one who wronged the people on the blog, but as the senior pastor, you are the one who has the power to bring change. Let change come!
Thank you, John Brower
The very fact that they constantly feel the need to justify why they are still there is evidence that they are aware of the problem. What can we expect? Remember the days when we were given little "why we're not a cult" coaching cards to help us do battle with our community accusers? We were all blindly loyal at one point too. I know that my time at LFF was when I was the most judgemental and non-compassionate towards non-LFFers so why do we expect that they would suddenly change. That's obviously not the big change they are professing to. Must be all the surfacy things like the worship team doesn't have to wear matching clothes anymore or they get to sleep an extra hour on Saturdays now. The ironic part is that those still there, at least those who love to read this blog and leave their little biting comments are probably the most damaged since they are still there preaching the Barden way. They may never realize the damage done and will continue to live their martyred little lives at LFF.
Dear Anonymous 12/03/06 2:24 PM -
I would love to catch up! I've been seriously getting into myspace lately...you can get the scoop on me there:
www.myspace.com/tsqwear
or you can send me an e-mail @ edrivdahl@hotmail.com
Cheers Everybody!
e.drivdahl
I agree with 12/05, 8:41 AM. I was so judgmental while at LFF. Something I regret terribly is that I believed that we truly were an elite "remnant". I missed out on so many opportunities to interact positively with other Christians that didn't go to LFF. I was shocked when I moved away and found that there were other Christians in the world, and that many of them seemed to be much more godly and sincere than me! I must have left too early to get a "why we're not a cult" coaching card - darn!
To the 12/3/06 2:24pm poster:
You know me and Andrew? Please email us we'd love to catch up whoever you are :) a_k_logsdon@yahoo.com
also FYI, we were carrying 4 babies; we just found out this week that we have lost them all. So now we grieve 6 babies :(
Kristin Logsdon
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