Broken Wing
So, following are some ramblings of things I have worked out, through, in and still struggle with at times, but wanted to share my heart on dreams and hope it encourages you!
Have you ever heard the song by Martina McBride, Broken Wing? Now you may not like country music, but I love the chorus on this song where it says, "with a broken wing, she carries her dreams...man you ought to see her fly." The song talks about a girl with a dream and how the man in her life is holding her back by telling her that dream is crazy, she'll never do it, etc. That's exactly the role that the pastors of LFF have played for years...breaking wings of young, energetic, youthful dreamers who are at their prime season in life to fly!
For all of you who visit this site, read it or are "sneaking on to it" against your pastor's will, I have a prayer - that you will be able to carry your dreams and fly. Some times I read the blog and I cry. It breaks my heart - more often than not. Sometimes I read it and get ticked. I feel so ripped off. I get angry when I think of what was supposed to be the most special moments in our lives wrecked by the things you talk about - our wedding day, our first pregnancy, the infant years of our children, the things they missed out on, my family, etc., etc. Sometimes I read it and get so sad - almost depressed when I think of the things that we KNEW God had put on our hearts, only to have them shot down and told "that will never happen" flat out by pastors or worse yet, to have our wings clipped by pastors who were threatened and tried to keep us small. And some times I am just floored - I can't believe I stayed so long and put up with so much crap. I'm not a pushover and I guarantee, no one will ever treat me that way again. But in some way, all of us had our wings broken by the experiences and the suffocation at LFF.
I recall one instance where I was speaking with a couple of the five fold pastors and they were floored by what I had said. At the time there seemed to be quite a rash of people who were being treated for depression - why do I know this?...oh, under the guise of "prayer request" all sorts of gossip went on. (One absurdity - in one case, a pastor actually said "oh she's depressed because she doesn't make her bed in the morning") Anyway, I plainly mentioned that I believe absolutely that there are so many people who were depressed because they had to abandon their dreams in God in order stay at LFF. They could not believe it and were not happy. You can imagine this was not a popular word and trust me it was before the "mass exodus" - at least two years before the leadership team fell apart. I remember the look in a certain pastor's eyes and the fury that rose up. I got chewed out up one side and down the other and told I was unspiritual...yada, yada, you know the routine.
But I sit here today and am absolutely convinced that God created each one of us exactly the way we are. Did you ever think about it? HE designed what have been labeled as our weaknesses and used as clubs like they were some big flaw in our being. Hello - God made us that way! It wasn't some mistake like "0h darn, I didn't mean to give him that personality, or that characteristic". NO - God made us exactly the way we are in order to use us for a purpose that only we can uniquely fill. I shouldn't have to be like any other person. That is not God's purpose for me! I am me with my own unique expression, my own unique personality and I deserve to live an abundant life of joy - injured wing and all - singing if I want, worshipping however I want and doing the things that I know bring me closer to God - not what you think is best for me! I know that some of the things God stirred in your hearts years (maybe lifetimes ago) are buried somewhere and I believe that just like a seed, He will bring those things back to life if you want. Maybe not in the grandios ways we may have once imagined, or maybe so...but FOR SURE in the way HE intended. It's not too late. Don't give up. My prayer this year has been "God, you put this dream in my heart, now I am placing it back in YOUR hands - do with it what you will." He has begun to work out some of the most painful parts in my heart...some of the deepest scars...were in the dreams that I vulnerably shared that were thrown down, squished and spat on by "shepherds". It's been years since we left and I have just been able to begin to open this part of me. It's slow and I'm not forcing anything, but it's a good thing...painful and brings up a million emotions, but one baby step at at time.
I pray for all of you - that you will "carry your dreams and fly"! Remember - "His eye is on the sparrow and I know He watches you (and me!)". You are so important to Him, exactly the way you are. The comparisons you were taught or had shoved down your throat were an insult to your maker. You are you. Exactly who God intended to create and use. Take up your dreams and Fly! He will indeed carry you!
Bless you!
38 comments:
I appreciate your honesty. Thanks for sharing. Speaking of songs check out this web site. When my wife and i left we went to Phantom of the Opera after leaving LFF. Flashback time! They Boy Scouts of America have a training video on child molesters and we recognized the techniques Bardens used in that film also. (I'm not saying Bardens ever molested anyone - they just used the same bullying / mind control / intimidation techniques).
http://www.lyricsdownload.com/phantom-of-the-opera-the-phantom-of-the-opera-lyrics.html
Why do Bardens / Vances want you to avoid the world? Because you might learn something about their techniques! To be sure the world has a lot of junk to offer, but just like math taught in school the world has some valuable lessons to offer. Check out Music of the night & Phantom of the Opera lyrics.
PHANTOM
Sing once again with me our strange duet . . .
My power over you grows stronger yet . . .
And though you turn from me, to glance behind,
the Phantom of the Opera is there - inside your mind . . .
CHRISTINE
Those who have seen your face draw back in fear . . .
I am the mask you wear . . .
PHANTOM
It's me they hear . . .
BOTH
Your/my spirit and your/my voice, in one combined:
the Phantom of the Opera is there inside your/my mind . . .
Sound familiar? Eventually Christine gets free of the Phantom to make a new wonderful life for herself with a true hero. Bardens, Vances & Hunters are false heros. They are pretenders, posing as angels of light.
George N. Sally
I sit at my desk tonight and wonder again -how can i help. Again i am groping for words to make it easier for you than it has been form me. I think of my ups and downs, my victories and defeats, my divorse (which i did not want) and my re-mariage.
Once again i am confronted with a painful reality - there is not an easy way out. You will have your struggles and successes and defeates. All i can do perhaps is to encourage you to keep going. To not give up hope. Hope for a better future. Renewed hope for a ministry that was stifled as was mine by Dr. Barden.
I don't know any of you individually so i wonder what can i do? What can i say?
I do wish i had this web site 20 years ago. It is theraputic for me to hear others that have gone through the same pain. the same barrage of accusations and Barden imposed guilt. The same confusion and hurt. The betrayals and lies...
My first mistake at LFF was to win a game of chess with Dr. B. Yea - i really creamed him and i must confess i took delight in it. He took offense and NEVER forgave me. As a matter of fact he never forgave me of anything of all his imagined wrongs.
After I recieved a prophetic ministry, Dr. Barden said he would have to change the way he looked at me. He never did. Even though God did wonderful things through me at LFF he could not see past his own bias and predjucie. How utterly sad. He will have to stand before God himself and give account. What i accoumplished at LFF is what others write books about. I was never allowed to rise above slavery. When my life became more and more productive and i wanted to get off a certain crew i was denied - flat out. So much for volunteering at church.
It took an act of God to blast me and my wife out of LFF. It was an utter miricle. Another couple who had left before me - well, i saw Sue Watson's jaw drop (literally) when we walked into their church (4-square). They thought we were so far into LFF that we would never come out (so brain-washed).
So here i sit again in hope. Hope that your futrue will be better and easier than mine has been so far. Hoping you will learn the lessons i've painfully learned at a quicker pace. Hoping that the spiritual train-wreck called LFF will at last come to an end. Hoping for justice. Hoping that Vances will put an end to the legacy of abuse that they are an intergral part of.
I know some of my hopes will probably not be realized because they depend upon the responses of others. By my future is looking up somewhat in natural terms.
God will make all things right in his time. That is part of the answers many of you seek - it is in His timing. I've concluded that much of what we struggle for in this life depends upon our energy and our ability to act in true wisdom. It is true that God will deal with Bardens and Vances and Hunters in his timing - but we also have a responsibility before God to tell the truth and to confront false teachers. We have a responsibility to warn others about LFF. So here is this web site filling that need. Hurray!
Well - I've come to a conclusion. I've a number of lessons that I can share which I think will help you more than just sharing the pain of the past. I think it is important to let it all gush out. A wound needs to be cleaned out (no matter how painful) and has to be allowed to bleed before you can stitch it closed, apply antibiotics, dress it and expect proper healing. The scar will remain but you will be healthy.
So we have (including myself) been doing a fair amount of bleeding here on this BLOG. Good - this is healthy. Be there for each other if for nothing else than to just listen. Some times the best therapy is to just listen. Be patient with those who need to bleed more than you. We were all in at differnt levels and our individual paths to healing will have their own pecularities.
When I left, the first thing I experienced was the incredible weight off my shoulders. At the same moment was the opening of my eyes to realize what a goofy place LFF was.
Next I discovered I could have non-christian and other-christian friends. There is a true warmth in other churches - even non-judgmental, though it is hard for many to understand what you went through (and that is why this BLOG is so helpful).
We left pretty poor from our LFF experience. This is a harsh reality at it may threated your marriage. Women - don't throw the baby out with the bathwater and ditch your husband just because you were married at LFF. You can still have a good marriage. One advantage to not rejecting your husband is that he knows what you went through.
One lesson I've learned is the importance of finances. Paul (the Apostle Paul) wrote in regards to giving that it is according to what one has and not according to what one does not have. If you don't have it to give, don't give. Paul never affirms the practice of tithing. Consider that it is an OT requirement and we are free from the law. What governs giving is our conscience. When you decide to give - give from the heart and don't worry about percentages. If your family is suffering need from your giving then you are giving to much. Work it out between you and God.
I used to think that money didn't matter. The Beattles said "money can't buy me love" but they were rich so what do they know? I'm not suggeting that money will buy love, or that money will bring happiness. However, Proverbs does say that poverty brings sorrow and the NT says that excess focus on money is a trap. Somewhere inbetween is a more worthwhile perspective. The Psalmist prayed for enough money to pay his bills so he would not steal and profane God, and he prayed not to be overly rich so as to forget God althgether.
Money is important for this reason - so you can take care of the ones you love. This involves future planning. Single guys - I can almost guarantee to you that unless you have a steady income and are putting money away for the future you will not attract a woman (no matter how Christian she is). It takes resources to have a family. It is OK to plan for the future. It is OK to have career goals. It is not good to become a work-aholic because there are other needs you cannot meet if you are not there for your family. Seek balance and not just the balance sheet.
I'll quit here. I hope some of the rest of you will add your comments and observations.
Yours in Christ,
George N. Sally
PS - I'm going to use my pen name for the time being. Knowing what I know about Bardens / Vances, etc. I'm still a little nervous.
I think we should say Hunter instead of hunterS...
I would pay anything in the world to be just like Gale Hunter
She was an incredible woman and a HUGE influence in my life, and I will never forget her.
Good point - Gale had such a sweet spirit. I was sad to hear she had passed away. Thanks for bringing this up. I definately was NOT thinking of Gale when I was writing. Sorry for the lapse.
George N. Sally
Now that we have moved away from Pullman, we are in awe of the hard feelings that have come to surface about life at LFF.
We have gone to a near by church just to see what it was like, but no one talked to us. We tried another church, but no one talked to us. We went back to the first church to try it out again, and no one talked to us. How hard can it be to say hi. Hi! See, I just did it, and don't like introducing myself.
After going for a third time to this new church, we got home on a Sunday afternoon, did the routine of putting the kids down for a nap, and then just sat there and felt guilty about all of the times we felt fake/phony when we were asked to go and greet someone. Now we know what its like to be the visitors, and it sucks.
I miss the friendships and the days of having Anne of Green Gables eight hour movie marathons at our college house, or soaking our downstairs neighbors with the garden hose and getting into a huge water fight. Those were the good old days of having great friends. Yes we were young and meant well, but it hurts to think that we stayed there after college - now to leave feeling like your heart was ripped out.
Remember that saying (or was it a poster): If you want a friend, you have to be friendly. Well, that is easier said than done. Please continue to support this blog, and be that friend or encouragement to those of us who are making a fresh start. It's hard, but well worth it. God knows what he is doing, and this is even more evident in our lives now that we can look back at our time there. Thanks for listening.
To the 1/19 9:39 Post.
I've gone through much the same experience but not quite so extreme. I think American Christianity has difficulty in fostering real relationships. When we left we moved to the far side of the state. Where you don't know anyone it can be awfully lonely. Eventually we did find christian friends that we can hang out with.
We went to the Methodist church for several years and i got remarried there. But it wasn't meeting our needs. Plastic Christianity i guess you can call it.
We church hopped for the last several years. We found a Vineyard that seemed like home but i ran smack into someone with a big ego and another person in leadership there that kissed my wife on the side of the face during prayer when nobody was looking (eyes closed). So we left there. More church hopping and we ended up at the Vineyard on the other side of the town. We are in the process of moving to the Nazarine church now because the pastor's wife at Vineyard is pro-homosexual and publically disagrees with her husband (the pastor). But while there we became good friends with two couples. The Nazarine church is typical "run-em-in, run-em-out" with lots of service crews and help groups. However, the worship tends to be good and the messages encouraging and insightful. We will just have to try int on and see.
I got tired of "trying to be friendly". It never worked at LFF for me; I apparently had a tougher time there than you did. A big part of leaving the 2nd Vineyard is i had tried to be friends with several different men in that church and four of them told me flat out "I know you wanted to be friends with me but..."
Yes, it hurts a lot. It still hurts when I think about it. I've run into I don't know how many Christians who are in the same boat as we are. Many are not going to Church any more.
As strange as this may sound I think this lonliness is the symptom of something much deeper. I call it Corporate Christianity. It has to do with the way Churches are organized. I recommend http://www.spread-the-word.org/ and click on "NT Church Leadership" under the section "Digging Deeper" on the left side menu bars. I would love to get your feedback on this (I did not write it by the way).
George N. Sally
A MAN REAPS WHAT HE SOWS.
Think about that one.
TO the above the post. ARe you saying that because they are not friendly to the people at ttheri new churches the people are not friendly to them. What about all the years the people sewed (sp?) being greeters and always trying to help new people? What about all the people they lead to christ and shepherded. Probably they are a little gun shy when they walk into a new church. They all have reasons. They were probably really hurt. Please think of the years of sewing they put in.
1/19 9:39 continues - Yes, we are very friendly people. I even stood by the morning greeter and introduced myself to a few couples. I got a few strange looks, but it was a good try. =)
It is hard for us when continually no one comes up to say hello to you, and it is hard to keep introducing yourself when no one stays to talk to you. So, I'll keep at it and see how it goes.
Yes, we were section greeters and enjoyed meeting people don't get me wrong. The blue sheets and reporting back in was what made me stop. I was there to meet people, and not fill out a report card - that's all I'm saying - take it or leave it.
Moving is hard all away around. Getting resettled and unpacked, new jobs, schools, etc. and all the details to work through. We still haven't figured out what day the garbage trucks come by as it changes weekly.
We thought we had a lot friends in Pullman, but it proves who really cares or not. Two people have called us since we moved. Yes, that would be two. Genuine huh. At least they called, and that we are grateful for.
Growing in building friendships is a hard thing to face when you are not used to it. Take care.
George n Sally said that they left the Vinyard because the pastor's wife was pro-homosexual. Let me start out by replying that I don't consider myself "Christian" any more. I go to a "New Age" Church so what I am going to say will probably not work for many of you. I have found that if you really leave conviction and condemnation to the Holy Spirit, your life will be much better. I have many wonderful friends in my church that are homosexual. I do not believe they are "going straight to hell, do not pass go do not collect $200". They love God, and they know God's love. We have had it drilled into us for so long that this is the worst sin someone can have. We have heard that it tears down the family etc... All I know is that if you show anyone love and acceptance, and know that they are one with God as are we all. It is amazing what a different world we are in. I think it will be interesting to see God's judgement of the "Homosexuals" in comparison to the judgement of the Shepherds that abused their flock. Which one do you honestly think will be the worst.
All I am saying is that maybe a paradygm shift is called for. If we see that everyone is one with God (including us), then we will see that we are all one. Even those who have abused us. They may not see it, but they are really simply abusing themselves.
If God is love, and I am one with God, then I am love. It wouldn't hurt to share more love and less condemnation.
Faithfully yours, John Brower
The whole "homosexuality" arguement is a tough one. It goes back and forth between loving people and hating sin which is a can of worms I'm not sure any of use are willing to open. There are some great people who are homosexuals - I don't think anyone would argue that. But I think it boils down to this: the Bible is very clear that homosexuality is sin and needs to be repented of. It's not unforgiveable as many in the church make it out to be. But, just in the same way we would not say that God will judge a homosexual harder than he will judge the Vances, it is not up to us to say he will judge the Vances harsher than he would judge the homosexuals. The truth is that the Bible is very clear - all have sinned all fall short of the glory of God. We all - Vances and homosexuals alike - sin and our only hope is the blood of Jesus. I don't think you can argue that homosexuality doesn't tear families apart. Look at the Keifers. Ask any of those girls if homosexuality tore their family apart. I also don't think you could say that God is one with homosexuals in the same way He is one with a born again Christian. How can God be one with sin? That doesn't mean he doesn't desire to be one with that person, but God's love and desire to forgive that person has to be met by their response of faith and repentance. I agree, we were all taught some funky things at LFF - some seriously funky things! A lot of those mindsets are hard to change if not near impossible. But the measuring line of what is right and wrong is no more our opinions and feelings as it is the Bardens or Vances opinions or feelings. Truth is the Word of God. That is the measuring line by which one can measure truth! The saddest part of this whole ordeal is how many people lost their faith! So many of us came to LFF with a true hunger to know and serve God and so many left having that hunger diminished and, in some cases, completely gone. I was in LFF for almost 17 years. I have been out for about 5 years. It's taken a while. But I have learned probably the most important lesson of my life - to do what I do because I love God. Not because a pastor tells me too. I won't lose my faith! I will be who I was always called and destined to be. No person can keep me from that!
To the 1/19 9:39 post - we did have a good time at the old college house (although one of he downstairs neighbor I never did like Anne of Green Gables ;-). Seeing your post brings back a flood of memories and a curiosity as to where the two of you are. If you and your SHS grad spouse is ever near his old stomping grounds it would be good to know so we could possibly get together.
--Old Neighbor
Nothing like typos. What I meant to say was that as one of the downstairs neighbors I never did like Anne of Green Gables.
You know you always did like Anne of Green Gables. U would stand at the stairs and watch fthe whole 8 hours:) OF course it might have been the fact that just about every single girl in the church was there.:) But I think it was Anne of Green Gables.
That is the absolute truth - you would stand at the stairs and say what a dumb movie it was, but help yourself to the popcorn and pizza! We knew you would eventually give in and watch it with us! You crack me up!!
We are doing good and getting settled in at our new location.
Good to hear from you.
"We are in the process of moving to the Nazarine church now because the pastor's wife at Vineyard is pro-homosexual and publically disagrees with her husband (the pastor)."
I think that American Christianity could learn a lot by trying to be more "pro-homosexual" and treating them like actual people, instead of supposed "scripture-based" hate that spews from the fundamentalist machine
Props to John Brower for actually thinking. That is the love Jesus preached.
While it may appear the Bible is "clear" about hmosexuality, a close study of the actual Hebrew and Greek reveals it to be much more ambiguous than the fundamentalist right will let on.
Much of the Hebrew that's been translated to homosexuality actually refers to the practice of young boys being sold in into a prostitution slavery at altars for gods of some of the other cultures in that area. The emphasis of Sodom and Gomorrah wasn't on the homosexual aspect, but more of the brutal rape and extreme violence their people petpetuated.
A much clearer understanding of this is in the New Oxford Annotated Bible, which I believe to be the most accurate translation of Hebrew and Greek texts.
-ASL
If you study the Hebrew culture you will discover that the bible is anti homosexual with out a doubt. The Hebrews called men up until there 40's young men. When the bible speaks of corupting young men it is speaking of homosexuality. Do some research on it and it will clear up the issue. People don't have to agree with the bible if they don't want to, but they shouldn't try to twist the meanings the authors intended to match their veiws. The bible only has authority if you accept it as having it, authority begins with an individual accepting it.
The bible says that "He who is without sin cast the first stone." Since the church is not perfect and not without sin it should not matter whether you are a homosexual or not. Who are we to judge or to speak for God. There are so many grey areas in life and if you look at the bible as black and white then you end up living your life in condemnation (like at LFF). An example the bible says thou shalt not bear false witness(lie). What happens if you are being held at gun point and to protect someone else you say you are alone. You just lied and broke a commandment, so if you die right then are you going to hell. The bible doesn't give acceptions for when you can lie. But I would think most people would say that lie was ok, so where is the line drawn? And then we enter the gray area. I think how we interpret the Bible is a personal and an emotional thing, if you use your heart to guide you instead of disecting every word in the Bible you open your self up to the true meaning of the Bible, love.
to the blogger at 10:21 am -
Here here!
Let me start by saying that I love the Bible. But, I also see that it is not the all-inclusive-word-of-God. Through out history people have been inspired by the Spirit to write. Even today people are still hearing from the Spirit. I know that what I am saying is heresy to fundamental Christians. That is why I started by saying that I don't consider myself a Christian the way that we have defined "Christian". I know that the closed paradigm that many of us have chosen works for many of us. It takes a lot of the guess work out of life. At LFF we were taught that the Bible is the only judge of right and wrong (at least in word. The actions we have seen disclosed on the blog tell us that there was a different standard for behavior.) When you see life as black and white, it is easier to look at what your function in society is, to see how to relate with people in every box and catagory. When you look at your core beliefs and ask yourself why you believe what you believe, it is not as easy. I had to look at how I looked at the Bible and ask myself, do I really believe that this is the Word of God? Do I believe that the canon decided on almost 1700 years ago is the only and final word of God? Is it possible that the people (men) who decided on the canon may have had other motives than what we have been led to understand? How do we know if they were inspired by God? These are questions I have been struggling with. I honestly have asked these questions. I am comfortable with the answers I have come up with for myself. I believe in a God that is MUCH BIGGER than I ever thought before. God is not here to condemn us and tell us how aweful we are. I reject the God we learned about at LFF that would "draw the line right in front of me". That kind of hate and game playing is not what God is really about. We are perfect whole and complete in God's eyes just as we are. We can't change anything to be more loved or accepted by God. I hope my sharing challenges us all to look at what we believe and why. I don't expect you all to come to the same conclusions that I have. I honor and respect your conclusions. Further in and further up!
John Brower
Christ taught situational ethics which were black and white in context but not generalized absolutes. The Pharisees were amazed at the teachings of Christ and the apostles because they were uneducated and had not gone to school. The ironic thing is at the time the Pharisees ran all of the schools and taught scripture and tradition was of authority and always referred to them. Their traditions made the word of God of no effect. Christ broke from this mold and taught truth understanding the scriptures and not dogmatically repeating them. That is why his claim that the law would be written on the hearts of men and no longer on paper was so controversial.
Interestingly the same thing happened around 500 years before in India in the midsts of Hinduism and devotion to the Veda their sacred text. The Veda was/is believed to have always existed even before the existence of anything, as illogical as that may seem. But one man broke from this mold and sought truth who's name was Siddhartha Gautama the Buddha.
Well said! And AMEN!!!
Sorry, but repeating your "truth" 3 times does not make it a universal truth! I know it was probably a mistake that your comments are up here three times, but still, it feels a little like you are standing outside the CUB shouting at the top of your lungs.
Who are we to say if Buddha was enlightened or not? It is another judgement that we are so quick to jump at. I would rather spend a minute in the presence of someone like Buddha than many of the "Christians" around me. So before we all start throwning stones, let's look at how we are living. Are we fasting to break the bonds of slavery, or are we fasting for show?
Again, WELL said and AMEN!!!
What makes you believe Buddhists are not concerned for the people at LFF? Do you assume that Christians posses a monopoly on truth. Isn't the purpose of this blog to help those who have suffered as a result of LFF. To say that it is a waste of time and dangerous to look for truth any were but Christ, sounds like something that would be taught at LFF. If truth is not truth were ever we find it then we make Christ a lie.
What the LFF leadership did was wrong because it resulted in manipulation and anyone can say thats wrong even an atheist. You seem to assume everything is gray with out Christ as the only truth. Things are gray because people do not want to come into the light because their deeds are evil. People like that don't want to judge since they themselves are guilty of just what they would be judging. Truth is not a matter of personal choice, that is a deception. People don't choose what truth is they just accept it or reject it and do so often by their outlook on things.
To the 1/9 blogger talking about Anne of Green Gables parties- I am the third upstairs roomate of that old house, yes I was there when the hose was used to soak the downstairs, and when we had our 8 hour marathons- man those were the days!!! I didn't know you and your husband had left LFF- were are you living? And to the downstairs neighbor- you know you secretly loved those flicks!!!
Are you talking about when we soaked the boys or when the bathroom sink soked the boys twice?:) because someone forgot to turn the sink off?
I am talking about all 3 times, but mostly about the time with the hose- I remember the look of horror on one of our neighbors faces- wasn't there footwashing, or pre-communion chatting over that incident??? Yeah- those were fun times!!! Hey how about the Lake of Shining Waters- that was sooo fun those nights when we would go there just to be- I loved it!!! This helps cause these are good memories of my years in Pullman, memories that I don't mind thinking about now and then.
There were tons of fun times but most of it is with my friends. I would say I only had one HCL's that loved me. THere were alot of footwashing times with our neighbors. Remember the fridge? That was intense!!! The pillos fights. One big guy neighbor who attacked the girls that lived across the street as agreesively as he attaced us? Having to go to the emegerncy room? Watching the Red and green show? Good times
1/19 blogger is doing good. It is good to hear from you. I'll try to email you so we can talk and catch up. Lake of Shining waters brings back memories..."I went outside of myself of my ideals looking for something that is right here in front of me...I don't want diamond sunbursts or marble halls...I just want you!" Now that is a great movie line!! Remeber how sappy we (or should I say you, well me too) would get. Roommate #3 would roll her eyes at us. Footwashing was a common thing. Not sure if I ever liked doing it much, but it did get us back on the same page. Good to hear from you. I saw a blue ford farmont the other day and thought of you. Remember learning to drive in the snow then going on our twelve hour drive across the pass? That was a long trip! It is soooo good to hear from you, you have no idea. Off to watch Dancing with the Stars.
Please do write me. I can't believe it's you!! I would love to hear from you. I'm sorry I was so weird before I left . I hated everyoone. I have the same e-mail. My name in a blue suit at the hottest kind of mail. I miss you so much. I'm sorry to hear you also have hard feelings. It is really hard. How long have you been gone?
Also, any of the other neighbors, roomates and REAL friends I would loveto hear from you. I miss the fun.
Holy Macarroni - it is really you!! I just emailed you. I have wanted to talk to you for ever to link up but wasn't sure how to, if you would want to hear from me or how to reach you. Wowzer. You have no idea how much I've missed you. Wow. Did I get the quote right? I know you would know.
Here's some more lyrics to think about...
"Mirror" by Barlow Girl
Mirror, Mirror on the wall, Have I got it?
'Cause Mirror you've always told me who I am
I'm finding it's not easy to be perfect
So sorry you won't define me
Sorry you don't own me
Who are you to tell me
That I'm less than what I should be?
Who are you? Who are you?
I don't need to listen
To the list of things I should do
I won't try, I won't try
Mirror I am seeing a new reflection
I'm looking into the eyes of He who made me
And to Him I have beauty beyond compare
I know He defines me
You don't define me, you don't define me
Man it sure has got dead around here. Is anyone checking this blog anymore?
Yes it has gotten quiet. I check the blog regularly, waiting for someone else to have added a new, exciting, scandalizing or tragic entry. Perhaps the blog has run its course, perhaps there are still a few more folks who need to share their stories. Maybe it's me, maybe it's you. We'll have to wait and see.....
There are a few posts further down with some recent comments, but, all in all, it's pretty quiet. I hope the blog remains here, though, for any who may not have discovered it yet. There's so much that is well-expressed in the various posts. It brings back memories, and has also brought some healing to me. I'm sure there are some experiences that I will never get over, but I hope that they will help make me more sensitive to others.
Never fear! The blog will continue. Look for more to come!
the editors
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