Question - Who is to blame?

A question from e-mail...

I was wondering if the mutual feeling was that only the people still in "leadership" are to blame or if everyone that was involved for many years still are blamed for their involvement?

I'm not sure how other people feel about this subject, but I hold no grudges against those that have admitted their failure in their involvement for so long and did repeatedly try to reach the "leadership" before leaving LFF.

I just want a few answers and some feedback on my feelings.

Even if this is not posted on the blog, (I understand that this question could be too volatile) could you send me feedback about what others may or may not have said on this subject.

Thanks!

P.S.
For all the kids from LFF: We're all going to be okay. That wasn't the end of our lives. And now we can dream really big and live life the way it was meant to be lived. There is no one to stop us. Live your dreams!!!!!!

We feel this is an issue that deserves a wider audience and are therefore bringing this e-mail to "the front page" to discuss it. First and foremost, none of us hold any grudges toward anyone involved past or present at LFF. Obviously we are not perfect and at times resentment gets the better of all of us but we are all working past that. We recognize that many people were involved in many ways at LFF and many of these people were manipulated into doing things they have since come to regret. It has become obvious to a great deal of people, that LFF does in fact ruin lives. Some may say that is a bold statement, but we are all still trying to overcome the stones cast in our paths. It is common for people like me, who have left the church, to struggle in finding God, and struggle even more in fitting into any kind of church structure. For instance, I love my current church, but every time I walk into a service, all my scabs from the wounds inflicted by LFF leadership, are instantly torn off. It is a true paradox in that attending church both slows and expedites the healing process.

The question seems to be, "Who is to blame for the pain?" I, for one, take the blame for allowing myself to be manipulated, exploited and abused. The entire structure and culture of LFF quickly sucks one in and it is easy to fall into the trap of allowing the lines to blur between church and God. We have found it important to keep in mind that there is a huge difference between forgiveness and reconciliation. We hate no one at LFF but the fact is the founding pastors and current pastors are stifling the spiritual growth of many. Arrogance has lead to abuse of power and gross misinterpretation of Scripture. Many of us have since been reconciled with much of the former and transitional LFF leadership.

During the church transition a lot of things changed. Pain found a voice and that voice was shot down. Those of us that were there as the Bardens relinquished power to the Vances saw a true opportunity to see LFF make large strides in the right direction. We also found those in the transitional leadership team felt the same way. Finally, our pain was acknowledged as real, and we were not scolded for our agony. As we related our hurts to most of the pastors who had been at LFF for years, they related. They took these issues to the top. Unfortunately, try as they may, those on the transitional leadership team had no success. They were silenced as well; the Vances would have none of it. Pastors, care leaders, and members were forced out, many of them for trying to help many of us. True the current leadership will say, God called them somewhere else, and thankfully he did. But those who left had been there for much of their lives and the reason for the departure was due largely in part to their silenced voices. Their efforts are greatly appreciated by all of us and many of us maintain strong relationships with these people as they helped shoulder our burdens.

Again, we hold no grudges and if any of us find unforgiveness finding a foothold in our lives we work hard to rid ourselves of that. So while reconciliation has come to many relationships there are some that all logic would say will never be reconciled. There was a pattern at LFF set into to motion by the founding pastors and assisted and now carried out by the new senior pastors. This pattern of abuse of power, manipulation, nepotism, and the destruction of many people's fragile relationships with God, is wrong. By being silent, we have seen more people hurt and lost and we cannot do so any more. Though we will most likely never be able to break this cycle with our words we may save others from the same pain. For decades now people have tried to stop the abuse and sin at LFF and for decades they have failed. It would be foolish of us to think that in somehow this website would lead to other results. We can call attention to the the hurt and that which causes it. In doing so we hope to aid in both our own and your healing.