healing

via email...

Healing is bittersweet. It is beautiful ...and liberating ..and painful ...and takes time.

One can not "dig up" the issues to heal them, but must patiently wait and face them one at a time. There was a time when I tried to rush the healing and force it sooner, but the pain of disappointment, regret and shame nearly overwhelmed me, threatening me to depression. It was robbing me of my joy and hope today by trying to deal with the past too much at once. Then, the wrong voices of the past of "don't talk about it, you're sowing discord, you're in sin" would haunt my mind and I would fall again to the prey of the lie that kept it all inside, empowering the lies even further.

I would like to say to each of you walking this path of redemption, of freedom, of forgiveness and true grace in God, there is hope. There is healing, there is life, there is acceptance and peace and true joy. There is a place where you learn to trust again. But it takes talking and it takes time. That's why I think this site is such a beautiful tool for those who need to find validation of the experiences they went through. Support for the things you are feeling or have felt. It's OK - it is a vital part of the healing process and you need to talk. I know, people who haven't been there or gone through these things can not relate...they think you exaggerate or make it up, which can only add to the lies that swirl in your soul. No, it was real. It was wrong. It was ungodly. It was hurtful. It is over. Thank God, it is over.

May you be free to fly, free to love, free to trust and free to be whole again! Jesus Christ is full of hope, grace, love, peace, compassion and does not love you conditionally as you may have been taught. After nearly 20 years of learning about "God" at LFF, I have come to realize I did not really know the true God at all. It's been a beautiful learning process and so much more simple than I could have ever imagined. It has nothing to do with me, my efforts, my reading, my service, my filthy rags...it is entirely and only because of the Blood of Jesus. Thank God. Enjoy Him in simplicity and love again!