He
Via e-mail....
He (Jars of Clay)
Don't try to reach me
I'm already dead
The pain when it grips me
For things that I've done
Well I try to make you proud
But for crying out loud
Just give me a chance to hide away
Exhaustion takes over
Will this someday be over?
Fearful tears are running down
The pain you've laid don't speak a sound
Don't take my heart away from me
And they think I fell down.....again
Daddy don't you love me
Then why do you hit me?
And Momma don't you love me
Then why do you hurt me?
Well I've tried to make you proud
But for crying out loud
Just give me a chance to hide away
Exhaustion takes over
Will this someday be over?
Fearful tears are running down
The pain you've laid don't speak a sound
Don't take my heart away from me
And they think I fell down.....again
A teardrop falls
From up in the heavens
Drowning the sorrow of angels on high
For the least of the helpless
The hopeless, the loveless
My Jesus, His children,
He holds in His arms
He loves you, He sees you,
He knows you, protects you,
He needs you, He holds you
4 comments:
"Fearful tears," all too familiar. I cried those so often before my husband and I finally decided to move on. I know my family is better because of our decision, but it was agonizing. Something we had poured so much into wanted nothing to do with us. It was often said at LFF that this church was very accepting, a true community that quickly welcomed in visitors and made them feel at home. But what is never said is how conditional that "love" and friendship is.
It is troubling and my heart still breaks for those that continue to be hurt by this conditional affection. So many of us tried for so long to communicate the very things you speak of to the pastors, but they would have none of it. So I, and now you, are labeled as critical, only complaining because we have sin in our lives. I hope you have success helping others in healing and "serving as a road map out" to those still suffering from the abuse and control. But if you are trying to get the pastors to change or admit that they may be to blame for any of this hurt, stop now, it won't happen. God bless you and from me, thank you. I hope this protects someone, anyone, from that which has been the source of immense pain for me and my family.
Ah...hope. Finally, hope. That song is beautiful. I am trying to escape the tears and the exhaustion. But I have found hope. Hope in Him, hope in people who share my pain, hope in the fact that others like me are trying to move on.
I share in the thoughts from "fearful tears." It is amazing to me how a group of people that I was taught was the "enemy" for so long can actually love and accept me for who I am. Nobody is perfect, and that seems to be a well understood and accepted principle outside the church. Within LFF I could never move on. It was always one step forward, two steps back. At LFF we were accepted as long as we did things their way. Now I can be accpted for who I am.
It's funny to me how accurate this song is. If I recall correctly (fellow pcsers help me out if you can), this song was on a CD by a Christian group that we weren't supposed to listen to. I think they weren't "happy" enough to be true followers of Jesus, and so their music was a bad influence, or so we were told. I still have this CD, and I still pull it out from time to time. Thanks for posting these lyrics...they are truly beautiful.
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