more thoughts

Emotions of weakness were trophies to the ones who perpetrated these crimes. They would wait, sometimes silently, sometimes faces florid from yelling, but they would wait. It never seemed abnormal to have someone take delight in the mistakes we made; this is how it had always been. Eventually we would mess up and they would gloat.

They would chastise trivial indiscretions but never in the way one might expect. To them failure was a moment of glee, rubbed in faces, celebrated sadistically. Our weakness was their vindication. They would joy in our faults, we would not question this. Questions were mistakes in and of themselves. To doubt was weakness, never tolerated.

Our struggles, our doubts, our thoughts of dissention, were always snuffed. There was never hope, never even a flicker. They were forever above us, they had trapped us in a flawless system designed to protect the elite. In moments of frustration, moments of delusion, in brief moments of fleeting sanity we envied them. We wanted to be what we hated. Was this the only way? Must we bow to their oppression?

Escape was not an option. This was our lot, our fate. We would bend but never break. They stripped our innocence, jaded our perceptions, and spat on our truth. We never wanted to believe. Yet, in an unexpected instant of clarity we became the wiser. The naivety of youth had passed and the floodgates of doubt were opened. Questions became realities, our fears were fact. Nevertheless, they denied incessantly, they will always deny it. Their violations are nonexistent, they are infallible.

This will never be understood. To the casual observer, it is nonsense; answers bring questions. To us, questions bring indifference. To them, there are no questions, their own chicanery is absolute.